For a couple of years since the betrayal my spouse and I have clashed on how to heal. I’ve felt like my unfaithful spouse lacks empathy and now this has been confirmed by our marriage counselor. It appears my spouse is dealing with some sort of mental illness and a major characteristic is lacking empathy. On the one hand I feel relieved to know I haven’t been expecting too much and there is a reason this healing journey has been so excruciating. But on the other hand, I’m being told now that I can’t expect my unfaithful spouse to ever really understand what I’ve been going through or be able to meet my emotional needs.