Q&A How Do We Move Forward If My Mate Is Hard-Hearted and Has Yet to Repent?

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We just finished Week 3 of EMS Online. I am experiencing concern that the counsel given in EMSO is encouraging exactly the type of martial environment that enabled my husband to deceive me for 25 years. I came to marriage living the Cycle of Grace—imperfectly, but habitually. Rick himself says that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly, expecting different results. My husband’s deception has taught me that, when one fallen but repentant human looks over the sin of an unrepentant human, that shelters the unrepentant human from the consequences of his sins, enabling him to become entrenched in that sin. God's word even shows that, in relationship, for mercy to be active, repentance comes first, not the other way around. The unrepentant window breaker would only be encouraged to break more windows if he got ice cream every time instead of consequences. I am concerned that, by encouraging me to overlook his sin and call it "mercy," EMSO just gives my husband more encouragement to devalue me. I am hoping and praying for encouragement from AR leadership about how to work a relationship with someone hard-hearted who has yet to truly repent.



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