Q&A How Important Is It to Interrupt Intrusive Thoughts within 3 Seconds?

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I’m the unfaithful spouse and the initial d-day was about two years ago. I had multiple emotional affairs and used pornography since childhood until shortly before d-day. Since d-day, I struggled a lot with intrusive thoughts about pornography, past affair partners or about any women in general. I’m working with a therapist who has a lot of experience treating OCD, because it seemed to us that my thoughts may not be temptations but rather because I’m so afraid to think certain thoughts and that’s why my focus is on women, pornography or past affair partners so much. Seeing them as OCD-type thoughts and stopping to avoid almost everything that brought up intrusive thoughts has helped me to be less disturbed by them but also to break some connections that I had had. Last week I talked with my girlfriend about capturing thoughts and it came up that I don’t always give it my all to capture thoughts within 3 seconds. She feels unsafe and betrayed by that and I feel more shame or fear again. When I talked to my therapist today about that he said that it would add pressure to fixate on capturing them within 3 seconds. That I shouldn’t dwell on them, that I should let them pass, but that it’s important to not judge the thoughts. Though I thought I heard Wayne say that even OCD can take someone back to acting out. How important is it to interrupt intrusive thoughts within 3 seconds?



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