Q&A Is My Spouse Really Trying to Disconnect from the Affair Partner?

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Question: 

My husband had a five year long affair. He was emotionally abusive and absent the entire time. Our D-Day was almost 9 months ago. We have been separated since. We have done some counselling, have done the EMS Weekend and are now doing Beyond EMS. He shows no concern of me leaving, he shows no interest in moving home and he will not tell me he loves me. He asks to come for supper and be here almost every night. He likes to make out one day and then the next wants nothing to do with me. We have not had sex for years as he completely rejected everything in our marriage during the affair. He says he's waiting for us to reconnect now. The "feeling". I have given him nothing but grace and told him I forgave him. I am worn out and so sick of waiting for his fantasy to die. I have been giving this man everything and I feel so rejected. It is confusing as some days he will text kind words or treat me gently giving me hope and then other days he refuses to give me anything. I know I can't keep being rejected like this. Am I being played or is he just slow or stuck to get separated emotionally from the AP? Thank you

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