Q&A Is the Roller Coaster of Emotions Normal?

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We are five weeks past discovery and I felt like we were making progress. In the past, I wasn’t allowed to stay in the house and our communication was mostly over text. When my wife and I did talk I was not completely honest with her, I would justify my actions, and blame my actions on other things. Over the course of EMS Online I’ve learned to start taking responsibility for my actions and I’m showing empathy, shame for what I’ve done, and guilt. When my wife asks questions she shows nothing but anger and hate towards me. I’ve recently been allowed to come home and we have really started making progress. We started to sleep in the same bed, have intimate moments, and share our true feelings with each other. Two weeks ago, my wife started to pull away from me. Now I’m not sleeping in our bed. My wife tells me she doesn’t want to see me, talk to me, or have anything to do with me. She tells me I’m trash. I’m in personal counseling, watching Affair Recovery videos, and going back to church. My emotions are nowhere near as painful as my wife’s but I still feel a lot of pain from the roller coaster of ups and downs. I know ups and downs are expected but this has lasted so long and it’s really hard for me to be motivated about recovery when all of the days seem to be bad now. Is it normal when one day is good followed by two weeks and horrible emotions and ambivalent feelings?



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