Q&A Should I Continue In My Own Healing In the Hopes She Will Rejoin?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.


My wife and I are almost 5 months from d-day and she is becoming more and more hyper vigilant in her control of my life. It’s to the point of not being able to function with our business. I made some emotional commitments to her about working from home at first but it wasn’t long before it became evident they wouldn’t work, the business began to suffer and I didn’t communicate that as well as I should have to my wife and just broke the promise. Now she is doubling down on the control and won’t even consider a compromise. She is dropping out of EMS Online and I cannot continue to function in this environment. We are in a constant state of turmoil with little or no hope of healing in sight. I’m in Hope for Healing week 8, we cried together over the week 7 letter which I wrote from her perspective and I thought it was a huge step forward in my empathy understanding. We are headed into week 2 of EMS Online but she refuses to even look at it, should I continue in my own healing in the hopes she will rejoin?



RL_Media Type: 

Hyper vigilant and lack of function

I experienced this too. I have missed a lot of days of work to be home with my betrayed wife. We have reached a point where it doesn't seem like she understands that I am going to lose my job if things keep going this way, So I am torn between trying to pay bills and her threatening to leave because I don't care enough about her. Or stay home with her in her pain and lose my job, the house and possibly our son to CPS. I know there is more work I can do to validate the pain she is going through, but it really doesn't look like we are making any progress.

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas