Q&A Should I Continue In My Own Healing In the Hopes She Will Rejoin?

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My wife and I are almost 5 months from d-day and she is becoming more and more hyper vigilant in her control of my life. It’s to the point of not being able to function with our business. I made some emotional commitments to her about working from home at first but it wasn’t long before it became evident they wouldn’t work, the business began to suffer and I didn’t communicate that as well as I should have to my wife and just broke the promise. Now she is doubling down on the control and won’t even consider a compromise. She is dropping out of EMS Online and I cannot continue to function in this environment. We are in a constant state of turmoil with little or no hope of healing in sight. I’m in Hope for Healing week 8, we cried together over the week 7 letter which I wrote from her perspective and I thought it was a huge step forward in my empathy understanding. We are headed into week 2 of EMS Online but she refuses to even look at it, should I continue in my own healing in the hopes she will rejoin?



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Hyper vigilant and lack of function

I experienced this too. I have missed a lot of days of work to be home with my betrayed wife. We have reached a point where it doesn't seem like she understands that I am going to lose my job if things keep going this way, So I am torn between trying to pay bills and her threatening to leave because I don't care enough about her. Or stay home with her in her pain and lose my job, the house and possibly our son to CPS. I know there is more work I can do to validate the pain she is going through, but it really doesn't look like we are making any progress.