Q&A Should I Disclose to the Affair Partner's Spouse?

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I discovered my husband's 6 month long affair with my friend just 3 months ago. It's been a whirlwind thus far, but thankfully it was a wakeup call to us and our relationship is moving in a better direction. We have signed up to EMS Online and we are eager to start. There is one question that still plagues me: do I tell the AP's husband? As far as I am aware, he doesn't know about the affair or doesn't know the extent of it (specifically, that there was sex involved). I don't feel the urge to give him any specific details or to bond with him in any way over this, I just feel sick to my stomach knowing that he is the only one in the dark. If that were me, I'd feel like a fool and most definitely would want someone to fill me in. Yet, part of me wants to mind my own business to "keep the door locked" and not indirectly invite the AP back into our lives. Do I have some sort of "moral obligation" to make the AP's spouse aware of the situation?



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Rick is flat wrong about this

This woman says she is ‘sick to my stomach’ that the AP’s husband is in the dark. This is her conscience speaking to her. She is a witness to a crime. She should heed her conscience.
The wife of my wife’s AP told me about my wife’s infidelity. It’s been 30 years since that day, and I have been grateful every day that that poor woman had the courage to tell me the truth.

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-D, Texas