Q&A Is it Normal for a Betrayed Spouse to have 180 Degree Turnaround?

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My husband had an emotional affair and I have just found out in February. It has been an emotional roll a coaster for me. He had told me back in Sept that he was not happy because he didn't feel like he was a priority in my life, that we never talked or spent time together and we only had sex maybe 3 -4 times a month if that. I thought he was being ridiculous and didn't understand why he was saying those things- after all we were busy raising our son - which has been very stressful in itself. Our son is very active in sports and we have to take him to practices 3-4 times a week -so we are not together a whole lot during the week. I thought it was just the time in our lives that we would get through it. I read the book the 5 love languages and had us both take the test and we were so different from one another. My husband was physical touch and I was words of affirmation... so any attempt to try to have more sex with him was not received well because he thought I was just doing it because I knew his love language was physical touch. So that back fired and I gave up. I did notice that something was different but I didn't know what. We had a trip planed together in Feb and it was there I found out he had been texting, emailing and whatever else-

Since the discovery, we have had sex almost every day; we talk a lot and spend a lot of time together. We did the boot camp and are seeing a therapist as well.

At this point, my husband says that he is confused by the 180 degree turn around in me and doesn't understand it. I am not sure about it either. Is this normal? He thinks I am doing all this because in the back of my mind I think he is going to leave. I think I have had a wakeup call and I am choosing to show him how much I love him. I do not understand all the emotions that are going on and how we can be so happy but sad at the same time. We have a lot of issues to work through still and he keeps wondering when it will go back to normal. I however don't ever want it to go back. So I am confused.



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Hysterical Bonding

This is not uncommon right after the discovery of a mate’s affair. It happened with me when I found out my husband had been unfaithful.

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