Q&A Should I Put My Running Shoes on and Get out Now?

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Question: 

My husband won’t stop running back to his affair partner, but won’t let me go. It’s been a year since D-Day. He has continued to cheat the whole time, but has also been begging to get me back for months now. (We came to EMS in September, I filed for divorce that month also, and he is currently in HFH and I am in HH). He just disclosed to me after being caught yet again that he has used porn his entire adult life and our entire marriage of almost 17 years. I had no idea of this until now. This is his second affair and after learning this, I am so scared he is a sex addict and this is why he cannot stop with his AP. Will he go back to porn once he quits her? Also, since his first affair 10 years ago, he started drinking heavily every night. This has resulted in so many fights and much counseling, with the end result of him always telling me it is my problem, not his. I strongly feel he is an addict, especially after this disclosure of a 25 year secret relationship with porn and masterbation. He also hasn’t fully embraced his recovery, but of course, tells me now he is going to do that. It’s been months of lies and deceit and manipulation to continue to hide his affair, while all the while, claiming his deepest desire is to work it out. I do believe he wants the marriage, but he can’t quit this woman. Addictions or not? Whenever I try to say he’s a sex addict or alcoholic, he denies it. Should I put my running shoes on and get out now?

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