I think that my husband is a covert or vulnerable narcissist. We are in the third week of Married for Life. He is still struggling to show me empathy. We've gone over the information in the program and searched different online sources. He keeps saying, "Okay I get it now." But when we try to apply the strategies with one simple wound, he is able to sympathize logically, go through the steps, say the right things but he cannot FEEL with me. He has not done any individual work. He's considering Hope for Healing. I've been working desperately to repair our marriage for 34 months. I waited patiently for him to give up his mistress. He continued to blame me for his affair. About midway through EMSO, he discovered that he had been punishing me for the 20 years of marriage for the crimes committed against him in childhood. He resented me for asking him to grow up. He finally took some responsibility and began to embrace the philosophy ‘whatever she needs’ about 30-50% of the time. Long before the relational infidelity was financial infidelity. We're facing lawsuits that threaten our home because of his reckless spending. I'm stuck, I don't feel like he ‘gets it’. I don't feel safe. AR repeatedly says that I shouldn't continue if I don't feel safe, correct? Could separating until he gets his stuff sorted out and has something to offer me be helpful? Do you believe a narcissist can ever change?