Q&A Should We Stop the Trickle Effect of Disclosure?

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A little over 5 months ago, I had a very drunken one night stand with a new employee of mine. The one night stand started with drunken conversation at bar then progressed to another location. It was here that after some pursuit by affair partner, I gave in, and we kissed for about a good minute. My husband is beyond angry and heartbroken. He wants every little tiny detail. However, due to being very intoxicated I am not able to recall every single little detail. But I have promised my husband that I would turn every stone and let him know if I get further clarity on even the smallest of details of that night. Every time I come to my husband with new information, it seems like it’s a brand new D-Day. He calls me a liar. My therapist told me to stop doing this to him... but I want full transparency and deep intimacy with my husband again someday. I want him to trust me with even the smallest of details. I feel like if stick with my promise that I made to him and continue to dig and divulge any new found moments, that this will start to feel like a trickle effect, causing our trust and our movement forward to be stifled. Is my therapist right? Should I stop doing this? Or should I honor my husbands wishes?



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