Q&A What Can I Do to Better Understand My Betrayed Mate?

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Question: 

My betrayed partner and I just finished week 6 of EMSO. Not long after the discussion of how we were feeling after the emotional session, our conversation turned into the story of the different ways she was hurt by my actions. I am grateful she opens to me and I am trying to lean in but sometimes I struggle with how much she wants to share about how my actions have hurt her. At some points it feels destructive more than constructive. But obviously with a traumatic experience there is going to be conversations like that. But I struggle with when it feels like it’s just shaming and when I should be taking it on my shoulders. What can I do to be better understanding in that way?

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