Q&A What Is the Census of Disclosing the Affair to the Affair Partner's Spouse?

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Question: 

I am betrayed and struggling with this topic. One side of me wants to call her and give her everything that I know. I have a hard time knowing that this affair partner has gotten away with a devastating act that has destroyed my life and family, while he goes on living his normal life. I feel he needs consequences for his choices and she needs the truth. On the other hand, I would feel terrible knowing that the info I give to her will be life changing and causing nothing but destruction. I have a hard time thinking I'll be causing someone else the same amount of pain that I went through-and her 3 kids. Please help me with this.

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Advice like this is the

Advice like this is the reason I lived a lie for 25 years.

The people who could have told me didn't. I consider them as infidelity co-conspirators and of the same ilk as the betrayers. The idea presented here is waywardness.