Q&A What Should My Mates Recovery Look Like?

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I have sought individual expert help for myself for continued recovery but also for some trauma in my younger years that has emerged. My husband, although owning his 8 year affair, lengthy use of porn, as well as masturbation the entire marriage does not seem to understand importance of understanding his choices that he made. I feel that if he is not invested in his own work on himself with expert help, then that opens door for issues down the road. I finally requested he seek his own counselor. He did agree and has been once but when I looked to see who he chose, this therapist has little experience in this area. I do want to see my spouse take initiative for better understanding himself, his motives, his own expert healing. When I bring it up, he becomes defensive and feels I just criticize him no matter how hard he tries. I try to just focus on my recovery but doesn’t there need to be major efforts on his part? What should those efforts look like at this point in time?



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