Q&A What Stops an Emotional Affair from Becoming Physical? How Do I Work through This Chasm in Our View of What Happened?

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I had a 10 month emotional affair with a work colleague which included travel way with the person. My wife found out about this through messages and I denied it and said she was jealous of me having a female friend. Having read through the messages myself I understand that this was more than friendship and was an emotional affair. I lied when challenged by her about it and lied on several things that I was ashamed of during disclosure which I have now shared with her. My wife cannot believe that the affair was not physical and says that anyone in my position would have done this. I've tried explaining that I didn't want to sleep with her and that I would never do that to her but I have lost her trust and so this is the only thing that makes sense in her mind now. She has said that we are not able to move forward with this lie still here and I have no way to respond because it is the truth. She says she won't believe a polygraph. We've signed up for EMS Online but the relationship continues to become more strained. What stops an emotional affair from becoming physical? How do I work through this chasm in our view of what happened?



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