Q&A What Do We Do during This Limbo?

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Question: 

My husband has been ambivalent for 4 months now since D day either 100% working on the marriage or getting a divorce. He is seeing an individual therapist and a marriage therapist with me currently. But his whole heart/mind is not committed to trying to save the marriage (he is half in, half out). He says he has cut off communication with the AP. He is having a really hard time because he doesn't understand why he can't get out of this ambivalence. We are still living in the same house. The 3 main reasons he gives for the ambivalence is strong feelings for the AP, doubt that he can be married to someone he hurt so badly (how can he forgive himself), and doubt that we can work through our marriage issues. How much longer should I wait for my husband to make a decision on if he is all in to working on the marriage or not? I don't want to look back a year from now and him/me be in the same place. Also, what should I be doing during this limbo period?

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Thank you.

This was very helpful to get Insight into what the betrayed should do during limbo gives me some direction during a time when I am lost. The timeline gives me a goal for myself not him. Any advice about what to do when you have already separated and live apart while he figures "himself" out?we are not in couples therapy but we are seeing individual therapists. AR courses are not an option with him.

What type of affair was it?

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