Q&A What's Bare Minimum Relapse Prevention?

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I have been married 25 years to a man whose loyalty to me was undying and whose moral character and integrity were unquestionable, until he had an 18 month affair. While I take no blame for his infidelity, I undoubtedly neglected him and our marriage and treated him unlovingly. I knew our marriage was highly vulnerable. Upon discovery 6 months ago, he immediately ended his affair. Now that I am showing him the love and affection I had withheld for so long, he is happier than I've seen him in years. He is adamant that there is zero chance of relapse because (1) once he decides something's over, it's over. Historically this is true about him in every facet of his life; and (2) he says that he would never want to relive the agony he suffered during his betrayal, nor the pain we both suffered upon discovery. So, for example, he doesn't have a specific game plan for if his AP contacts him, other than to tell her "lose my number," nor does he find one necessary. What, if any, relapse prevention methods or measures should I nonetheless insist be taken for my own safety? I don't want to go to such extreme that it sets us back as his actions are what have enabled me to feel safe thus far.



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