Q&A Where do I go from Here? I'm Hesitant to Attend EMS Weekend.

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Question: 

I have recently found out that my husband of 21 years has been cheating since we were dating. There have been so many affairs that he cannot even remember how many, much less their names, dates, and places. We are about six weeks from the first D day with 3 more since. I am completely devastated and overwhelmed with grief. I cannot wrap my head around the fact that the life I felt was so great is now littered with his infidelities making it all feel like a lie. He says he is sorry. We are going to couples and individual counseling, and he has signed us up for EMS Weekend in hopes of saving our marriage. I am hesitant to attend. I am so humiliated. I also don’t think I can move forward without knowing everything. On top of all of that I wonder if he really doesn’t remember or is just afraid that I will leave if he shares any more. How can I move towards healing without knowing all of his infidelities and not trusting that he truly doesn’t remember?

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So grateful for EMS

Rick, what a beautiful answer. I hope this couple will see my comment, as I want to reinforce what you said about the EMS weekend. We have gone twice, and each time we found total acceptance and such wonderful, caring people- everyone was so supportive and and caring. We definitely felt we were among friends. We never once felt humiliated or embarrassed. My husband, the unfaithful one, especially felt accepted and never once felt judged or criticized. It is such a healing and caring atmosphere and I hope this comment will help this couple feel less anxious about going. We found it to be the absolute best thing ever we could have done for our brokenness, and we will be eternally grateful to you, Rick, and John, Leslie, Tony and Erika and your beautiful wife, Stephanie, for the help and love you showed us. Thank you so very much, Rick, and God bless you all at EMS.