I'm 12 weeks into Hope for Healing and 9 weeks into EMS Online and I am experiencing extreme distress lately. I actually feel very strongly that I'm going backwards. I haven't acted out physically, but I contacted the affair partner once, the first time in 4 months. I have sex and love addiction, but I've never had a stronger desire to go and find an older man, my addiction preference, with whom I can be physical - not even since before my marriage. I started seeing a sex therapist about 4 weeks ago, as well. Do you have any insight into this behavior? Why am I being pulled so strongly when I'm doing all this work? I told my husband that if my addiction were heroine or cocaine, I would most certainly be dead because I feel I truly need to go and act out or I'm going to go crazy.