Q&A Why Do I Want to Indulge in Thoughts of the Other Women?

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Question: 

My husband has been identified as a sex addict. We have been married ten years. He has acted out with numerous women throughout our marriage that started with inappropriate behavior, sexting, then sexually acting out. This comes from a history of sexual trauma. According to him he has always felt inadequate, lonely, fragile and not good enough. We are in 3rd week of EMS Online and I’m not flooding as much. The hurtful sexual images don’t dominate my mind. Now that it isn’t not as painful I find that I want to indulge in the random thoughts of the other women when they come to mind. Either I play out how he chose me or think about how he’s rejected them! Is this helpful to healing? I know we are to reclaim our spouses and just want to make sure I’m not doing more harm than good. I don’t want to fixate on them but feel drawn to the thoughts.

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