Q&A Why Is My Spouse Having a Difficult Time with Empathy When I'm Hurting?

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My husband has rededicated his life to Christ. He is doing his best to keep me safe and show me he loves me. I too am changing to be a better wife and despite of it all, I am giving him unconditional respect. We are uncovering problems in our marriage. He is non-confrontational and had bottled it all up, resented me prior to the affair. We are now doing very well in the recovery except for days when I feel the pain and would mention the affair during our intimate conversations. He would shut down. His reason is that he does not want to talk about the affair anymore. I tell him that it is important to me that he sees my pain, empathize and maybe all I want is to hear him say sorry for causing my pain. Why can't he understand that all I want is empathy when I am hurting? He used to be good at this. I feel that he just wants to move on without remembering what he has done. Him trying to forget makes me feel unsafe. I am getting tired of telling him that I need to see empathy. Am I wrong to feel unsafe with him trying to forget his infidelity?



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