My husband, a sex addict, says he cannot control his thoughts or fantasies; he can only control his behavior. Analytically, I get it, but as a betrayed wife who found out my husband has been unfaithful for 23 of 25 years, I find that statement unacceptable. I believe if my husband didn’t desire it, he wouldn't think about it. He admits he thinks about it daily. To me, that feels like betrayal. Because of the amount, it’s not fantasizing, it’s reminiscing and that REALLY upsets me to the point of anger because it hurts so much knowing he has those memories stored away for instant recall anytime, anywhere. He doesn't want the memories but doesn't have complete control over them coming to the surface of his mind especially when he is remorseful for all he has done. I should somehow be grateful that he is now choosing me and our marriage over choosing to act out but I feel resentful and angry that he has all these memories to think about even if he is not choosing to act out again. My question for you Rick is, will my husband's reminiscent thinking ever stop? Will he ever be truly free from those lustful memories? I don't know that I can move forward knowing he thinks about his encounters with other women. It feels deceitful like he’s being unfaithful whether he’s physically acting out or not. Thank you in advance for any clarity so I can have hope that this can and will be resolved.