Trauma from Infidelity: An Interview with a Specialist Harboring Hope registration opens monthly. Subscribe to be notified. Harboring Hope is our online course for betrayed spouses to heal after infidelity. It often sells out within a few short hours. Don't miss it! Subscribe to Registration Notifications! In 40-plus years of caring for those in crisis from infidelity and addiction, I've come to understand a thing or two about trauma. While there are many situations we're introduced to in life, very few are as traumatizing to man or woman like infidelity. It's life-altering. It changes you, regardless of what side you're on. In society, we're often times ostracized when a friend or family member learns of either ours or our spouse's infidelity. It's not IF we're going to feel traumatized, it's when. Today I'm going to introduce you to MJ Denis, LMFT, LPC, AASECT-CST, APCATS-CCPS, one of our experts on trauma and the betrayed spouse. I can't stress to you enough how vital it is to understand the effects trauma has on us as human beings. If we're going to heal and gain ground both personally and maritally, we must begin to go deeper into wrapping our minds and hearts around the complex way trauma affects us all. I hope you enjoy her interview with Samuel below: Human beings are created for attachment; we're made to be one with others. When the strongest of an attachment bond is broken in a marriage, it creates a primal panic for the betrayed. For many, this pain is so intense it creates a traumatic wound, sometimes creating a physiological problem—making regulating these intense emotions almost impossible, if not handled correctly. The ongoing assaults of these traumatic emotions often discourages couples—causing them to doubt whether they can make it through infidelity. Things that at another time would have been a minor irritation can now cause an emotional meltdown. If not cared for properly, we can become stuck, losing hope and vision for not only personal healing but for the marriage as well. It's not uncommon for those impacted by infidelity to experience Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Traumatized soldiers who deal with PTSD report that the slightest trigger can activate uncontrollable reactions. Hurt spouses, especially those dealing with PTSD and Complex PTSD, report similar experiences. When traumatic triggers are suddenly–and often without warning–activated, those suffering from PTSD feel the same visceral pain felt at the time of discovery, or another traumatic event. Frequently, and sadly I might add, the unfaithful partner gets impatient and wants to know why the hurt partner can't just “get over it.” But you wouldn't tell a soldier with PTSD to just “get over it.” So how do we deal with traumatic triggers that threaten to overtake us? Without a thorough understanding of the wounds of the betrayed, it's common for partners to feel paralyzed by the pain; wondering if anyone understands them. The isolation a betrayed partner feels when overwhelmed by emotion is debilitating. I hope you find comfort in MJ's wonderful explanation of trauma caused by infidelity. If you're the betrayed spouse, I'd like to invite you to give our Harboring Hope course a chance to help you find support, understanding, and infidelity-specific help. You don't have to do this alone and you don't have to struggle. Sign up here today at 12pm CST: https://www.affairrecovery.com/product/harboring-hope Harboring Hope registration opens monthly. Subscribe to be notified. Harboring Hope is our online course for betrayed spouses to heal after infidelity. It often sells out within a few short hours. Don't miss it! Subscribe to Registration Notifications! Sections: NewsletterFounder's LaptopFree ResourcesHot Off the PressRL_Category: Find HopeFor The Hurt SpouseTrauma of InfidelityRL_Media Type: Text
