Q&A How can I Create Safety When my Betrayed Mate won't Talk About it?

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Question: 

Hi! I've been stumped with the way my husband has been responding. I have been the unfaithful one. I have been going through Hope for healing and have been learning tools to better improve communication and basically strengthening the marriage after the affair. With all these tools, I have no one to work this all out with since my husband thinks it's done, he's forgiven, we're past that… and so he has adopted the "let’s just not talk about it" stance. It's difficult for me because I believe we have a lot of things to work on. And the only way to make this happen is to openly communicate about our thoughts and feelings. Process the whole affair and learn from our mistakes. With the way he is choosing to handle it, I feel frustrated, and handled once again. I'm afraid this frustration, disappointment and lack of connection will one day lead to making poor choices again. I just want to be connected to someone and I wished it was my spouse but his ways just leave me out in the cold. How do I turn this around when all he cares to do is what he wants? That to me is forgetting it happened and pretending all is ok.

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I would highly recommend giving this a try.
 
-D, Texas