Samuel shares ways to change particular marriage dances in recovery from affairs and infidelity.
Survivors' Blog
How to Change the Dance in Recovery
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Comments
" Life changing moment"
Thank you for all your time and talent, energy and experience you and all put into AR and the Vblogs. I get so much information and knowledge from them. My question or feedback is this: there are about 14 Vblogs that I can pull up on my favorite list that you state " This was the life changing moment for us", me and Samantha". It is now coming across ( just to me probably) that you had many many moments but the V blogs communicate that it was at that " ah ha " moment things turned for the better. You had Rick face to face- almost all here do not, so it has been a bit challenging to grasp which moments are really moving or did move you both forward. It seems a big challenge to have these moments that you talk about without someone like Rick, Leslie or John working directly with you. Is that the main reason you both have made such an amazing recovery ? You had Rick one on one?
great question....
No apology needed/ not how I
No apology needed/ not how I wanted my post to come across. I just needed more clarification that the recovery was more of MANY MANY small " a ha" moments all put together to make the forward movement in the recovery process. Gosh don't change a thing about the VBlogs- just trying to understand the BIG PICTURE of recovering from this type of trauma. It is just almost impossible to endure the reality that the pain and hurt came from someone who gave their word/ promise/ vow to not cause this type of harm. Thanks for the reply.
How long is this dance?
The dance for us has been going on for six months after discovering a four year affair in a 28 year marriage. After watching most of your video blogs I finally got the courage to say enough is enough. It's time for me to move on. Since I'm already sleeping in another room, getting my own therapy and focusing on my own healing as well as advocating for my three grown daughters during their grief, the only consequence I haven't tried is to file for divorce. The part I just don't get is how/why I could stick around knowing what I know? Why is this so hard? It's crazy how many betrayed spouses are willing to nurture this for so long. I would have never guessed that I could even consider reconciliation after this much betrayal. He's still involved with th AP today. And the bigger question is why doesn't he want to end the marriage if he can't get over her? Your examples of ambivalent unfaithfuls are so on point with my husband but I have to believe by now he should have turned a corner. But all I see is more of the same dance.
jennyG...
References
What books do you recommend for this video? You mentioned a few references. Thank you!!!