Q&A Do I Need to Have My Mate Move Out?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.

Question: 

In 2018 I found out about the most recent affair, they had been seeing each other for 2 years. He seemed remorseful, cut it off and we dove into couples counseling with a therapist and our pastor. He also agreed to go to individual counseling and get accountability partners. At that time I told him, if he cheated again, he'd have to move out and we would separate In July of 2019, I discovered he started seeing her again. I asked him for a separation and told him he needed to move out by October. He is asking to work on the marriage and to work on himself while remaining in the house. Since discovering Affair Recovery, I've realized we jumped to quickly into working on our marriage and not working on and healing ourselves. He has agreed to attend EMS weekend and is considering Hope for Healing. My question is; am I ruining my chances of him hitting rock bottom by not forcing him to move out? Should I say, "Okay, you can stay if you attend EMS weekend and enroll in Hope for Healing. We will see where we're at after we complete them." Is it realistic to give him a new ultimatum of, "If I find out you're seeing anyone else during the process, you must move out immediately"? I'm not good with boundaries or ultimatums, so any guidance is much appreciated. I should also mention our therapist believes he has a sex addiction due to how many affairs he has had; he's essentially cheated his entire dating life. I think he may be addicted to the feeling he gets from affairs since he seems to be seeking someone that values and esteems him more than he believes I do.

Sections: 

RL_Category: 

RL_Media Type: 

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
head-silhouette
 
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
 
-D, Texas