Q&A Should I Let Go or is This Normal Behavior?

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Question: 

18 months post D-Day, still no disclosure or remorse, blames me, refuses my apology for my part in disconnect. He only says "I take responsibility". No discussion of what part he played. Claims that since I abandoned our marriage when I was depressed in 2013, he feels he was justified. Leaves me feeling unsafe that any mis-step on my part will mean he feels okay to get his needs met elsewhere. Any mention of the affair and he LOSES it. Very full of himself, says I should be thrilled he would even want to share the same bed with me after I found an old file which put affair a year before I thought and I started replaying what was going on then and I have now learned that yet another year of life was fake and explains why he refused to go on date nights. I disclosed my discovery in a “neutral" way--IMMEDIATE over the top reaction about MY spying and wanting me to explain the details of how I found out. Since then he has been stonewalling. He continues to keep his devices password protected, leaves earlier for work than needed and often comes home later after "refreshments"--with no info on who or where--all things I never cared to prior to affair. We’re not practicing Christians but appreciate all info and your previous responses. Thank you.

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