Q&A How Can I Overcome My Negative Feelings Towards Family Members?

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Question: 

After discovery my husband’s family knew something was going on but they didn’t know what. They have still not been told any details. We had to ask my mother in law to give us space because she was asking intrusive questions at first. She has pretty bad boundary issues. Well two years later I still feel really uncomfortable when we get together with his family, I find them triggering for some reason and always feel like I am the odd one out. I realize these may be my own issues and there have been times when I just opt out altogether. I don’t know how to deal with this. What are some ways I can overcome my negative feelings towards his family? I suspect there may have been some enmeshment with his mother when he was a child because of how he strives to keep her at arm’s length by saying he withholds information because he doesn’t want her to “meddle” but yet he persists with a pretend normal around them. I am just confused and feel guilty for the negative feelings I have towards them.

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