Q&A How Do I Deal With My Husband's Refusal to Consider Accountability?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.


I have been married for 17 years. Initial D-Day was 3 months ago but there was a slow “trickle truth” in the 2 months following. My husband finally admitted he had a nearly 10 year affair with a co-worker as well as going to massage parlors for the past 3 years and looking at pornography on a regular basis. The physical affair ended with the affair partner 2 years ago and they no longer work together but they have still kept in contact until fully breaking it off 2 months ago. He says he has not gone to a massage parlor in many months and has not looked at pornography since D-Day. He claims he is doing fine and has not had desire to return to any of his prior behaviors. He is in Hope for Healing, we are signed up for EMS Weekend, and he recently made an appointment with a therapist who specializes in sex addiction. I am very pleased to see him putting in the work but am still struggling to feel safe because he does not have an accountability partner and does not see the importance of one. He has few male friends and has said he would not feel comfortable talking with me about his struggles and temptations. What do I do?



RL_Media Type: 

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas