Q&A How Do I Find a Happy Medium Where I Can Learn to Be Myself Again, While Still Connecting with Him and Learning to Trust Him Again?

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My husband of 16 years had a 6 month affair with one of his coworkers. D-Day was 4 months ago. He has been extremely remorseful and we have been working hard on repairing our marriage. We had not been in a good place for years, and after the affair came to light he told me he felt unwanted by me and that we were emotionally and physically distant. I agree that was true and I felt the same from him. Now we are much closer, but to the point where I feel like I'm being too needy and I don't like myself like this. I find myself texting him repeatedly during the day, and wanting him with me at all times while we are at home. I get upset when he doesn't respond to all of my needs in the way I am wanting, and I constantly look to him for reassurance. Then I start focusing on just making him happy. I feel like this is wrong, that he needs to prove to me that he is a person worth being with. I don't need to prove it to him, he's the one that messed up! So then why am I depending on him for my every happiness now? I have never been this type of a person and I feel my self-esteem slipping further away. How do I find a happy medium where I can learn to be myself again, while still connecting with him and learning to trust him again?



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