Q&A How Do I Handle Comparison with the Affair Partner and Changing My Mindset of My Self-Worth?

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I am the betrayed spouse, 14 months from DDay. My husband and I are committed to recovery and he is diligently working towards that goal. My husband's affair was with a younger and very attractive and accomplished person. He has admitted that there is a significant comparison factor but that he chooses to be with me anyways. I am struggling to feel attractive to him despite his assurances. I feel as though I am making excuses when I tell myself the comparison doesn't matter, like I'm just being a sore loser that says I didn't want to win the competition anyways to soothe my wounds. My own perceived value to him has always been in my appearance and sexual performance and I am struggling to rewire how I think about this. Any suggestions would be appreciated.



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