Q&A How Do I Know Who My Mate Really Is?

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Question: 

My husband has had the behavior of a sex addict. Since the discovery, one year ago, he said he is not doing that anymore. However, we are not happy. I am severely damaged from the betrayal; I think he is not happy either. He said that if I move on and forget all that he did, we will be happy again, but it is not that simple for me. I wonder if my son and I were the “other life” and the prostitutes are what he really wants for himself. With the prostitutes he was sensual and romantic. He was happy with them, with me; the life was just peaceful but never exiting. I read that sex addicts look for prostitutes, because they are afraid that if people know how they really are, people will not love them. How do I know who this man really is? I don’t want to keep swimming against the current, just to discover in 5 or 10 years that he was just lying to himself and me. Maybe he is a pervert and he likes having many women but is forcing himself to live in a monogamous and married just for social or religious pressure.

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Wow, good question and answers

My heart jerked when I read this question. I too often wonder who my husband really is. My husband has often said that I need to forgive and forget so we can get on with a happy marriage. He reiterates he wants a Biblical marriage. So, I tried. DDay was nearly 8 years ago. Like John and Leslie said, he did return to his old behavior. You asked “ what if you forgive and then 5 or 10 years later you discover nothing changed? That is my life.

4 months ago he started hope 4 healing, but he shares nothing about his lessons. If I ask, his response indicates that temptation is normal for a man. As for me, I will walk away from this. Finally.