Q&A How Do I Set Boundaries around Ambivalence?

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Question: 

It has been a few months since the first disclosure, and only about 1 month since the last time I knew he was having sex again with the affair partner. One day he wants his wife, but the next day telling me I was never good, offered him nothing, and abandoned him when I separated from him. He is not in recovery for himself, and told me he doesn’t need it. He is hardly involved with our own kids in any way. I’ve been in counseling for a few months. He came 2-3 times. He said I was lying to the counselor. I’ve shared my biggest insecurities and issues in counseling. I also have taken accountability for my lack of things in our marriage. There are no positive actions to back up his words, but all of his actions show no interest in change. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life living this. It has been so exhausting. When there has been abuse, and still signs of it, how much more does that change the amount of ambivalence a spouse should deal with? When is enough truly enough?

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