My husband had an emotional affair with a young coworker 6 years ago. I have found significant evidence they crossed multiple boundaries. I have received trickle truth for all these years. I recently came across evidence that the affair was much longer than he told me. I continue to have multiple triggers and intrusive thoughts, even after all these years. I also find myself ruminating, almost like conversations with husband in my head, proving his relationship and actions were a big deal. He will now tell me his affair was a big deal but continues to gaslight and minimize his and her actions. How do I turn off rumination without getting validation from my husband?