Q&A How Long Do I Put up with My Wife's Ambivalence?

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After two-plus years since d-day, my wife and I finally started therapy. This was only after I drew a boundary recently. She was, again, ambivalent and I suspected she was taking to the affair partner. I told her that if I found out they were talking extensively again I could not do this anymore. Two days later, I discovered texts between them. I told her it’s over and to go be with him. She came back a few hours later and she proposed going to therapy and a two-week separation. I agreed and our first therapy session was a few days ago. I feel as if it benefited her more than me. She has tentatively agreed to come home after our next therapy session, but I don’t trust that that is ironclad. How long do I put up with this? One part of me thinks this might finally be the turning point for the better, no matter how long she stays away. The other part of me is sick of waiting and wants to tell her come home and work on this or we are done. After trying all I can for two years to get her to this point, I now feel like I am losing some hope.



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