Q&A How Should We React to Insensitivity?

Been thinking about this one, and I realized this has been a recurring theme through our marriage. My wife would say something insensitive, and I would jump on her, and she would be completely blindsided, and horrified. She understood the emotions she put me through, but always could not understand why I would think like that. We have had conversations about it. And I think, trying to put myself in her shoes, it has always been a source of depression for her. Like she knew she was hurting me by being insensitive, but she never knew how not to be insensitive, because she thought differently from me. Even though she desired to try to understand me, it was extremely difficult. And thus began the cycle of self-blame and loathing. How do we approach this is a different way so we get a different result?