Q&A What Do I Do with My Husband's Lack of Remorse?

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I am struggling with a husband who is a few weeks into Hope for Healing and hasn't shown remorse or empathy yet. His second affair (first was 7 years ago) began last fall after my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer that would only be treated to buy a little time. Those treatments were really hard on her and for me to see her go through. All the while he was having the time of his life. D-Day was in March 2016 and he continued it but lied about it. I filed for divorce in July when second D-Day happened and he couldn't choose me and end it with her. Once he was served he began pulling away from the AP who is a co-worker. She also pulled away. So there has been no physical contact but I'm not sure of no contact thru talk or text. He has a new job beginning next week and is trying as much as an emotionally unhealthy person can although he will not be transparent at this point because he isn't willing to relinquish his control trip. He has accepted Jesus and is going to church with me as well. He is seeing the goodness that a relationship with God can do. My problem is I still receive no emotional support from him regarding my mom who is now in hospice care. She has been like a mom to him since his mom passed away when he was 19 years old. We've been married 21 years. He has only seen her 3 times since she was diagnosed last fall. He has dropped all my family during the affair. I see some personal progress in him but it is really hard to not have what I need regarding his support with this other major life stress. Do I just have to accept what I can get at this stage since I hope we move in to reconciliation at some point? I am afraid that the combined traumas will be too much for me to be able to reconcile with him if he doesn't come around soon.



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