Q&A Why Do I Feel Stuck?

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We are 13 months post D-Day, and 9 months from the last disclosure. I am the betrayed and have become stuck in my healing process, or at least it feels that way. I am still so hurt and angry. I have revisited grieving and mourning my losses from my HH lessons. I still feel all these losses so strongly that I'm wondering if I will ever heal. We are still in Married for Life, my husband has been safe for me ever since initial D-Day, and he is doing everything to heal himself as well as our marriage...so I feel like I'm the obstacle in moving forward. We began joint marriage counseling a couple of weeks ago...again after not being satisfied with our first therapist. Maybe this will help. I feel like I am just trudging along through the muck, but not getting anywhere. I know I need to give myself time and grace, but really how much longer do I give myself?! We've been married almost 35 years and this has just crushed me to the core. The image he portrayed to me and the world was far from what was going on inside and what he kept hidden. I know I have made progress and we have made progress together, so now why this "stuck" feeling? I don't want to keep transmitting my pain, yet I can't seem to stop myself. I don't even want him to touch me. We haven't had sex since D-Day, but have been working on emotional intimacy which was sadly lacking in our marriage.



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