My husband and I are 1 year into recovery. I am the betrayed spouse. We did EMS weekend, I did Harboring Hope, I read Forgive for Good, have done EMDR for PTSD, and we are in counseling with an infidelity specialist. Our counselor says my husband is the model of a recovering unfaithful and he is doing everything he possibly can to facilitate my healing. I think I am falling into bouts of what you called accusatory suffering. Sometimes I do not want to be loved even though I know my husband loves me. Often I feel I am to blame for our floundering recovery. I don't always feel this way and even when I do,I logically know I shouldn't be feeling this way because what I am feeling does not match up with what I know to be true. Do you have any suggestions?