Two months ago I discovered that my husband was having an affair with a woman in our church. He was the senior pastor and had to resign because of the affair. In one day my whole world was turned upside down. The affair began over four years ago. It included weekly dates at her house, gifts, trips to the beach, even bringing her to our home to have sex. The messages that I read between the two of them said "I love you. You are my best friend." This is the third time he has had an affair in our 33 years of marriage. He confessed to the other two twenty years ago. I thought we were healed. I thought we had a happy marriage. I thought we were best friends. I am completely devastated. I had to take a medical leave from my teaching job because I'm such a wreck. Everything from the last 4 1/2 years in our life seems like a lie. Every picture, every card, every anniversary, every date is all a lie now. My husband has broken it off with the affair partner and says he loves me and wants to be with me. For him it's over. He says he doesn't have any feelings for her. But for me the turmoil is non-stop day and night. Is there hope that I will ever get over the pain and anger of this deep betrayal? I am deeply grieving my husband's affair. I have a history of depression and anxiety. I know I shouldn't numb the pain, but sometimes I feel like I'm going insane because of it. Would going back on an antidepressant help or hinder my ability to process this pain in a healthy way?

Rick's suggested resources:

• Forgive for Good by Frederic Luskin
• Stuck: How to Overcome Your Anger and Reclaim Your Life by Remy Diederich