Q&A How Can I Prevent Resentment and Bitterness Forming in My Heart?

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Question: 

In her pain, my wife has continued to do and say things that wound me emotionally. I am unable to communicate this because she is defensive, accusing me of “fault-finding” and “blaming” her for the affair - which I have never done. Despite doing Harboring Hope, 10 weeks of EMS Online, 1 year of professional counselling, and numerous meetings with our pastor she’s still unable to hear anything negative, because it’s immediately perceived as me “blaming her for the affair”. I feel our communication is crippled by this. I bury my hurts because to reveal it would nearly always lead to a large conflict of which I no longer have the emotional energy to endure. What actions can I take to stop her hurting me, when i can’t even communicate this to her? Am I resigned to live with this indefinitely? How can I prevent resentment and bitterness forming in my heart?

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Thank you

Thank you so much for answering this question! I found your response very helpful and appreciate you sharing the 4 questions and suggestion of practicing the Truth in Love exercise.