Q&A Am I Still Deluded?

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Question: 

When my wife first said ‘I love you’, I disconnected from her. God has now told me that this was due to the impact of pornography in my life. Throughout all our married life I said, ‘I love my wife so much but why are we like two cogs grinding rather than working in sync?’ Over the years I felt I was on a one-man island. My lack of connection and being unheard grew stronger. I did everything I could to change my feelings and be proactive in our marriage, to no avail. After 20+ years, I entered into a 3 year affair. Just after D-Day, I went through three experiences that now shape my views. Through Neil Anderson, I learned about deliverance, which made me see deception in the affair – this made me turn away completely from the AP, she became a blank wall to me. I developed a sudden, immediate and powerful connection with my wife which I had felt prior to her telling me she loved me. She was finally ‘on my island’ and I am now besotted with her. I deeply regret my passivity in going along with the affair and the destruction it has caused. I now have a laser-like focus on taking responsibility for my actions. I don’t feel that the affair made my marriage strong, it was the renewed connection with my wife, which had nothing to do with the affair, that turned my marriage around. Am I still deluded?

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