Q&A Any Final Advice Before I Throw in the Towel?

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I have been married for over 30 years. My spouse entered our marriage and has betrayed me from the beginning. First with lies about porn and masturbation then progressing to more deceitful behaviors including flirting, secret trips to strip clubs, spending our money secretively and finally having a sexual and emotional affair. Once he was discovered he lied repeatedly about events that happened including lying to his therapists. Six months after I confronted him he had a tryst with a different woman and didn't come clean to anyone about this for several months. It has now been more than two years and recently I have caught him in additional, fresh lies about some financial matters. He says all the right things when we talk but follows through with very few of his promises, self-inspired plans, or those developed with therapists. We have been to counselors both separately and together, attended EMS Weekend, he has done Hope for Healing, attends a men's sexual addiction and small group, and we see a newer-counselor together. Everyone thinks he is a great guy and so helpful and dedicated to his recovery. He continues to keep important things to himself, is often defensive, blames me or other things for his behavior when he becomes flooded or angry which is often. If I pretend to be happy and satisfied and ask no tough questions or start no difficult discussions things are great as far as he is concerned. I am dying inside, have told him this and am at the point of leaving and never looking back. Any final advice or suggestions before I throw in the towel? One last thing, I look at love as a verb and try to do loving and kind things and not expect to "feel in love". I am finding this harder and harder to do. Thanks for anything...time is running out for us.



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