Q&A Are These Red Flags for Relapse?

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Rick and Stephanie, thank you for your story. My husband and I were married one week earlier than you. Last disclosure for me was last April. His deception spanned 20 years, two affairs with the same coworker, and has been emotionally abusive for most of our marriage. I have had a lot of trickle truth. Although he is showing some positive actions, I am concerned that he says he "will never go down this road again". In your video, you indicated that when you thought that, you ended up relapsing. I am scared to death of a relapse! For the past couple of months, when I ask him questions about the affair, he has started the old patterns of getting angry and defensive, and verbally abusive. I use a neutral tone when asking. He also attacks my family during the questioning, especially my mother whom he hates, and use a lot of diversionary tactics to change topics. His reverting back to old patterns scares me because this is how he acted when he was in the last affair. Are these red flags for relapse and does it sound like he may be back in an affair? Since past actions predict future actions, those are my concerns. Also, just to clarify for my own sanity; Did you once say that healing could take 18-24 months after the LAST DISCLOSURE? That would explain to me why I am no further along in the process than I am. I kept getting "trickle truthed".



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