Q&A Can I Retrain My Brain to Not Go into Fight or Flight from the Triggers?

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Throughout the past couple decades of marriage to my sexually addicted and formerly wayward husband, he has woken me up in the middle of the night or in the early morning trying to get sex from me. I obliged him a few times but right after he was fast asleep and I couldn’t get back to sleep. This was on top of me being the only one getting up at night with our babies because they were breastfed. I was constantly exhausted. So I made a boundary of no “wake-me-up sex”. Now our kids are teenagers, equally exhausting, but I still get triggered when my husband wakes me up for any reason. How can I retrain my brain not to be in fight or flight mode when he wakes me up just to cuddle? He feels so rejected and angry with me for my reaction to him waking me up. I honestly do not like being woken up to cuddle. How do we handle this?



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