In the months before my husband started his infidelity, I realized that his thought pattern was distorted. He saw me as the cause of all his problems, even where it was ludicrous to believe something was my fault. He really believed I was out to ruin his life. Talking led to him immediately becoming verbally aggressive and blaming, and it was impossible to communicate. Now I am doing the EMS Online, it looks like this was the 'deceived self' that eventually allowed him to believe he was entitled to happiness in any way he wished- and gave him permission to embark on infidelity. I tried to kindly talk to him about his 'brain letting him down' and feeding him false information, and tried to get him to see a doctor, because I feared this was dementia or depression causing delusions. I did not know the mechanics of self deception at this point. Was there anything I could have done at that point to 'get through' to him, and break that cycle, and stop him seeing me as evil? Could I have broken the cycle before he was unfaithful, given I recognized the cognitive distortions operating?