Q&A Is Depression Normal Eight Months out from Discovery?

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Question: 

Lately I feel really depressed and lost. Why should I be working on our marriage and initiating all the classes, seminars, counseling and going out on dates? My husband did plan dinner for our 25th anniversary, however, I just can’t seem to get out of this depression. I had motivation and excitement back in August when I thought we were working on our marriage and then again in October for a bit. But it’s been slowly going downhill for me. He puts forth surface effort. Just what he needs to do to get by. He’s not the “get your elbows dirty, find stuff to work on, communicate and really care about my feelings” kind of person and I guess that makes me question our marriage even more. Any suggestions to work on myself? I’m not on any meds and try to pour into our 4 kids but some days I am lacking any motivation and can’t smile. Luckily my husband no longer works with the affair partner but his work is a huge trigger since they did. I don’t trust him. He doesn’t make me feel safe. Just want to get out of this depression stage. Is this normal 8 months into it?

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