Q&A Did I Try to Recover to Quickly?

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I was able to stop feeling the need to contact the affair partner and was able to stop feeling the need to know about the affair partner in less than a month. I really did, it was like I was awaken from some kind of spell or something. I think that my relationship with my affair partner was a limerence relationship. Is this a normal thing to happen, to really feel like the affair partner never existed? My husband keeps asking me how I did it. My husband feels that it was too easy for me to switch from the affair partner to him. I just know I don't need the affair partner and I feel that the communication and the new relationship with my husband makes me happy.



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My husband revealed his

My husband revealed his infidelity to me about 20 days ago and this describes his feelings. He said that as soon as he told me a giant weight lifted from him and he finally felt free. He had been struggling for several weeks about going to our pastor and confessing and then bringing it to me. But before he got up the courage for that, an odd email he sent to himself (a romantic poem) triggered my questions at 2:00 in the morning. He told me very little then, but planned to tell me all the next day (and he did). He immediately contacted the AP that night to say it was done and he was going to tell me and then deleted his WhatsApp account so that she would not contact him. He has said he has no desire to contact her now, is sick to his stomach and embarrassed by his actions, and has contacted our pastor and several close friends and confessed to them how he hurt me. He’s doing the work and we’ve talked so intimately the last week that it feels like our once close friendship is returning. We‘ve neglected each other for a couple of years, both struggling with being empty nesters as our kids brought us such joy. We’ve been lost. I retreated to my secret hole and he retreated to the attentions of another. I’m the introvert and he’s the extrovert, so this is not surprising. We are committed to the work because we can’t envision a future without the other person in it. We want to grow old together.

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