My spouse was previously married and engaged in multiple affairs (including with me) without the former spouse finding out about it. There was never a need to face the music as it related to the affairs; they had other problems, so divorce wasn't unheard of. After their divorce, we went on to get married and live happily ever after- at least until I had an affair this time, instead. On occasion, I believe it helps my spouse to have perspective of being the previous betrayer. Other times, some of the things uttered are very cutting and cruel; things my spouse should know from experience are not black and white. I understand that I had an obligation to be faithful, but sometimes I feel like my spouse is applying such a double standard. Is it extra difficult to look at me and see a reflection? How do we use our experiences to build upon for our future?