Q&A Forgiveness and Infidelity

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We are about 8 months into recovery and things are going really well as both us are doing the work together. We were in the Married for Life week reviewing anger. Guilt is one of the underlying emotions. I (the betrayed) asked my husband (the unfaithful) if he felt like he was forgiven. He responded that since there are consequences (not reaching out to women, needing perspective in sharing his hurts and anger) he doesn't feel like he is walking in forgiveness. I tried to say those aren't consequences but safety measures and tried to make an analogy from sobriety. He said that is a bad one because the alcoholic's identity is always one of being an alcoholic who is just sober. I want the affairs to be a part of his story but I want his identity to be as a forgiven child of God.
Can you offer some insight on feeling forgiven and continued identity?




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